Sh*t, Grit, and Motherwit:

Comparative Reflection

2007-08-20T19:29:00.000-07:00

The first few weeks this year have been so much smoother in comparison to what I dealt with last year. I know the processes of my school - not to expect to go to lunch at the same time everyday, constant interruptions, third block will extend at least an extra 15 minutes, my planning period will be cut in half at least every other day, etc. - and thus can much more readily adjust. It's amazing to compare my classes with all new students to the classes with some students that I had last year. My new classes are angels. They're so scared of me. It's great. I came in this year not trying to be anyone's friend (huge difference from last year) and determined to have them obey me, and it worked wonders. The students that had me last year tried to set the tone on the first day of school (talking out of turn, making snide comments under their breath), but were completely surprised with how direct I was in my correction of their behavior. I'm so much more organized, although I still have plenty of room for improvement in that department. I think most importantly, my lessons have an overall unifying theme to them, and I know what gets the students' attention vs. what completely bores them. I've only had a couple of students go to sleep on me, and with my new classroom management skills, it's pretty easy to reprimand them. Despite all these wonderful changes, many things are still, regrettably, the same. Students are still, for the most part, lazy. Administration is I think less organized than last year (in part because we're missing one counselor and the other newly hired one is insane). Parental support is lacking. Essentially, the same problems that the students brought last year exist, but my ability to handle and deal with them has evolved. So far, so good.

RG Update

2007-08-20T19:14:00.000-07:00

So some of you (if there are any of you) that have been following this blog may remember several months ago when I posted about a student, RG, who had a rough home life and who had a lot of potential but was always getting in trouble at school. Well today RG showed up for the first time today because for the past nine weeks, he'd been in boot training with the Army in Georgia. I wasn't even aware that you could enlist if you were underage, but apparently if it looks like you're going to graduate and you get some recommendation letters, then they'll let you. So RG came by today after school to talk to me about what he went through this summer. I've never seen someone mature so much in so little time. It was like he was a new person. He no longer tried to defend his defensive actions (I spent hours arguing with him last year about how it wasn't important to defend your pride every time it's insulted) or showed anger at people that insulted him, but tried to discuss with me why these people do these things. He told me about how he got into a fight with another soldier at the beginning of the summer who said "I hate black people," but later simply tried to show this soldier through his own actions that black people did not live the stereotype he saw. He told me about his daily routine and the discipline and determination it took simply to stay awake at times. This student (I can no longer say kid), at 17 years old, was a platoon leader -- in charge of 60 men, several of whom were twice his age. He talked to me about how he no longer was attracted by of his previous vices: smoking pot, drinking, or playing around in class. He talked with scorn about his other classmates who have no idea what the real world is like. He described his newfound habit of taking notes in class because he always needs his body doing something. He even told me about some of the physical abuse they had to endure and how stoically he took it. The transformation was amazing. I have to admit, I teared up a little at one point. This was the ultimate teacher moment for me so far. I think I may have been the first adult to listen to his stories and fully recognize his change, and I could tell that he respected me for my time and my attention. This school year is already going much better than last, but RG's newfound outlook on life has made it that much better.

Tips for 1st Years During the School Year (AKA How to Ensure Your Sanity)

2007-07-04T08:34:00.000-07:00

1) Learn to recognize which, among all the bullshit your school will inevitably tell you “has” to get done, in actuality, you “have” to get done. Your school will bombard you with deadlines for all types of menial tasks: countless homeroom headcounts, lesson plans, intervention plans, etc., etc., etc. Despite what anyone tells you, NOT ALL OF THIS HAS TO BE COMPLETED. At least not by you right that moment (or even when by when they initially say they need it). You have to figure out which of these things are the most important. Typically, anything the principal tells you directly to do gets priority. Typically, anything that can be emailed quickly I try and knock out of the way. But if you have 30 essays to grade, 3 lesson plans to write for tomorrow, 15 parents to contact, and grades are due by the end of the week, then get some of your stuff done first.

2) Make friends with the people who have any type of control over you. The librarian and the secretary saved my ass so many times. Many people disliked these particular employees, but I was always as polite and nice as possible, making sure to wish the secretary a good evening every night as I left for the day, and making sure to make small talk with the librarian. In return, my copies were (almost) always ready when I needed them, I didn’t have to wait in the office for more than 15 minutes to speak to someone (this is considered good), and I had access to the computer labs and/or TVs last minute whenever I needed them. A well-placed “thank you” or a card of appreciation goes a long way.

3) Watch who you associate with. I think because I hung out with a lot of the “trouble-makers,” even though I rarely caused trouble myself, I caught a lot more flack from the higher-ups than I probably deserved. Generally, the people who aren’t ass-kissing, who state their opinions, and who don’t always follow district policy tend to be the more liberal, and thus I naturally gravitated towards that circle. So when I was seen in the halls talking, it appeared to others as if we were “conspiring.” (It’s unbelievable how paranoid principals are.) I’m not saying don’t hang out with these people, but be aware of who’s watching you and what it looks like. Hang out with the others too.

4) Grow thick skin. Your students are astute and very perceptive (at times). They’ll figure out what annoys you or even hurts you, and they’ll use it over and over again. It’s not personal (even though they may personally attack you), that’s just what kids do. You did it too when you were in high school or middle school. Get used to it, and understand there’s a reason behind that child’s words. Don’t hold a grudge. Same thing goes with your principal(s). He/she has a job to do, a lot of stress, and may not always give you the benefit of the doubt. He/she may ream you out in front of students, parents, faculty, or by yourself. Be prepared to accept it in public (I know it’s hard for some of you to swallow your pride) and handle it professionally, even if he/she has not.

5) Please remember why you’re here. Even if kids tell you they hate you and don’t like you or your class, you’re helping. Don’t lose your ideals.

What should I be doing these next few weeks if I’m a first year?

2007-07-04T08:33:00.000-07:00

Working. Organizing. And working some more. I know it sucks, especially considering you haven’t had a break from lesson planning and teaching since the second week of June, but it will make things so much easier for the Fall. In fact, I wouldn’t so much work on lesson planning right now as I would organizing and writing out a 9 weeks (or even a full year) syllabus. This is the most important thing you can do, because it will give your lesson plans and classes direction. If you already know what you’re teaching, contact the principal or curriculum administrator at your school and find out if there’s a pacing guide for your district/school. Find out if you’re required to lesson plan with the other teachers who teach the same subject as you. (It would suck if you worked so hard on these lesson plans and then you find out you’re not able to use them, or not able to use them until February.) Your principal will be very impressed with your assertiveness. Think about what overarching concepts you want your students to be able to know/identify/apply at the end of the year and think about how you’re going to incorporate those concepts throughout the year. Think long and hard about how you’re going to teach vocabulary, give tests, or assign homework.

Then, when you’re done with all that, work some more. Research how your school discipline structure works. For this, I’d try and contact someone who worked at your school previously in TeacherCorps or another teacher that currently works there. Again, you would hate to do all this work creating classroom rules and procedures on beautiful poster board and then you find out on the first day of school that because your school has a specific bathroom policy plan, you can’t use the brilliant one you came up with.

I’m not saying work all the time all day, but formulate ideas in your mind and actually write them down (I can’t count how many good ideas I had at one point throughout the school year that eventually got lost in the crevices of my mind). The more work you put in now, the easier the first nine weeks will be. The less likely it will be that you’ll want to kill yourself or your students. I can preach because I know first hand. My time off was spent at BestBuy, Finnian’s (a local pub), or on the foosball table. And I suffered in the long run. I came in with half-assed, poorly-thought-out lessons and strategies and my kids could tell. I’m so much more excited about next year because I’m actually writing out a week-by-week plan of what I’m going to teach for the entire year. Granted, I’ve had a year teaching it, so I know much better than you do what works and what doesn’t, but at least I can see where my year is going.

Go get drunk. Go explore your city (or town, or village, or hamlet). Go hang out with the rest of MTC. But those early Sunday mornings when you’re watching Sportscenter and drinking the Bloody Mary to recover from the even earlier Sunday morning, pull out the ol’ laptop and start typing away.

Required Blog #2

2007-06-25T15:39:00.000-07:00

Of all the lessons I've taught so far (like how I used the word "all" to make it seem impressive?), the lessons on essay writing - particularly organizing thoughts during the prewriting stage were most successful. I think this can be attributed to a number of reasons: 1) It's easy. There's not much writing involved. It's simply writing whatever comes into your mind, organizing it into good or bad, and then choosing the three most quantifiable subjects. 2) It was the first stage of writing, so the students hadn't had time to become bored yet. 3) I did examples with people they liked: Michael Jordan, Tupac, etc. I feel like I also did a good job of explaining what happens in my head when I'm organizing thoughts.
My worst lesson was probably the one on using context clues. I think most of this boils down to preparation. It was something I hadn't taught before and had to sort of throw together at the last minute because things we had originally planned for that period didn't work out (pre-test, procedures didn't take as long as anticipated, etc.). Also, the lesson was fairly lecture-oriented, and I still haven't figured out a solution to keep students' attention for 50 minutes when you're just talking to them. (I'm not sure one exists.)
My instructional procedures tend to mimic those that I used most commonly during the end of the regular school year: heavy on the set and heavy on the examples. For me, so many terms and concepts in Literature and English are defined very vaguely, that the only way to explain a concept is to give example after example. Also, I've found if you lose a kid at the beginning of the lesson, it's twice as hard to get him back. For these reasons, I usually run out of time when I'm allowing for independent practice and I consistently squeeze my closure into about 30 seconds.
I differentiated instruction by doing a lot of activities. Typically, I'll over dozens of verbal examples and samples throughout a lesson. Also, I've made it a goal to provide a visual handout for almost every lesson so that students can organize their thoughts. I've done a lot of group activities, allowing students to move around the room and build things with their hands. I think mostly though, I've given students lots of freedom in their assignments to choose what interests them. I realize that's not technically a "learning modality," but I still feel like differentiated is all about freedom of choice, which I'm definately trying to provide.
I think students' performance would be enhanced with more consistency among teachers. Because of the need to have four teachers teach so many lessons, it's extremely difficult to have the same teacher teach the same concept thoroughly. For example, I started a lesson using characterization in "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty" only to have it completed by two other teachers. Although I think there are definately benefits to this tactic, the students become confused by three different teachers' methods, priorities on what's important in the story, and different interpretations. To make it even worse, those teachers weren't in the room the entire time when the other was teaching because we were planning or conferencing. I think more time would definately also be an advantage, but I guess that's not the intention of summer school.

Required June Blog 1

2007-06-14T16:02:00.000-07:00

When I sat down and began to think about the curriculum that we would teach this summer for English I, I had several doubts about my ability to make such a huge decision considering I taught English III and IV this past year. The more I looked at the frameworks though and discussed content with other MTC English teachers, I decided that the most beneficial lessons for these students would be those that they could bring back and apply to their English II (state tested) classes next year wherever they are. I wanted these students to be able to re-use and re-apply strategies learned this summer in whatever English classroom they end up for the school year, regardless of the learning environment or teacher's competency. Thus, the main ideas that we focused on stressing for the first few lessons were a good grammar basis, good organizational processes and strategies (especially for essays), and general reading comprehension/test taking skills. I also thought that since the students would be in the same class, same seat, same teachers for 4 hours each day, it would be best to try and vary the lessons as much as possible to keep their attention span; therefore, our lessons generally teach four completely different concepts/ideas every day. We tried to cover at least one of the four themes: essay writing (students will compose their own informative essay by end of the week), grammar (students will apply rules of Subject-Verb agreement and commas vs. semi-colons in multiple sentences), reading comprehension (use of context clues and active reading), and literary (starting off with characters/characterization in one of my favorite short stories, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty"). I imagined that, and for the most part found it to be true, that students had at the very least heard of some of the terms/strategies/concepts we discussed (bubble map, four square model, FANBOYS, etc.), but did not know exactly what they were or how to apply them. We made sure we were very explicit on when and how to use and apply these skills. The students will need to demonstrate competency in these areas in order to pass the state test and graduate in English II next year. I believe one of the students' favorite lessons (and one of my favorite to teach) was the inductive strategy (Unguided inquiry) where I had students explain to me how to make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The first student told me to open the bag; I did so, but did it by ripping the bag open from the bottom, allowing most of the bread to fall on the floor, instead of untwisting the ties and opening it from the top. This continued, with students not being specific enough and my assuming things from their vague directions until we had thoroughly messed up the peanut butter and jelly making process. After this, I believe the students understood the importance of organizing your thoughts, being specific, and following the correct steps, which easily led into the lesson on prewriting.

What I Wish I Knew Coming Into Teacher Corps

2007-06-04T05:17:00.001-07:00

1) How to be an Asshole. I'd heard it probably more than Ben's hackneyed "This is the hardest thing you'll ever do in your professional life" speech, but I still didn't really believe it: "Don't smile until Christmas." What does that mean? Why? The kids are like wolves and can smell happiness like a wounded animal? I didn't know. So I paid it no heed. Big mistake. And I don't necessarily think it's true, but I think way too many of my classroom management problems (and let's face it, those are the biggest problems for virtually everyone) stem from the fact that I was cracking jokes and singing Coolio in class from the get go. I'll admit it: I wanted to be the cool teacher. But somehow there's a mixed message in telling a kid to sit down now while also making fun of the sag in his pants. I should have been a hard-ass. And when it finally hit me (about December) that my style wasn't working, it was almost too late to turn it around... especially with my worst class. I wish I could have taken pictures of their faces the first time I told them "I don't care... sit down now" when they started in on their lits of excuses why they had to get up out of their seats for the fourth time. I thought that by being understanding and appealing to their sense of reason while also showing them that I'm young and hip enough (I know, I think my intention was lost by just using the word "hip") to sympathize with their situations that they would respect me. They don't respect compassion or humor, they respect fear. At least at first. It's quite an over-exaggeration not to smile for 6 months. But I'd say for the first 5-6 weeks, be an asshole. That doesn't mean you make a kid cry (although there'll be plenty of days when you want to). It just means be curt, blunt, crude, and straightforward in telling students what you want them to do and doling out the consequences when they inevitably don't do it. Don't explain yourself more than you have to. Don't be understanding in front of the class. (Tell the kid that's about to tear your head off for giving him a writing assignment he can see you after class if it's that big a problem.) Don't give second chances. Let them see you as an authoritarian dictator and let them adjust. Then, as the weeks wear on, crack a "yo mama" joke. Laugh at yourself for tripping over the wires around your desk. Do an impression of another teacher. Let them see your human. But please wait until the point where they're scared and wonder if they should laugh at all.
2) How to Teach to the Level of My Students. Going in, partially because I was teaching juniors and seniors (two of which were Honors classes), I tried to make my classroom as much as a college setting as possible. Bad idea. Your students are not college students. The majority of them will not go to college, at least not a 4 year college. A large percentage of those who do eventually enroll in a 4 year college will not graduate college. So by doing what I did, you're preparing the minority. My biggest tips to getting kids to actually learn the material: Review as often as possible. Stop every 20-25 minutes and review what you've just gone over. Review at the end of class. Review every day at the beginning of your lesson. Review before tests. I know it may seem tedious and weary, especially to you, the teacher, someone who's been trained to memorize minute facts in very little time, but these students' brains do not work like ours -- they haven't had the conditioning. They need things repeated and reiterated over and over again. It's something I'm still working on, especially since the level of comprehension in my classes is so wide, but it's something I feel a lot better about now than I did when I started.

To Hell and Back

2007-05-21T18:45:00.000-07:00

So the past three or four weeks I've been teaching without air conditioning. That's right. It's May. No air conditioning. A little background: as some of you may be aware, JPS passed a bond referendum this past schoolyear. The vast majority (maybe all?) of the money my school is receiving is going to renovations, which I think is a pretty good move. One of the first things we're doing is fixing the air conditioning. Our current air conditioner blows. Not literally. Pretty much all the knobs are torn off, so you have to use either pliers or a key to turn the air conditioner on and off. The school cannot control the air either. We have to make a call downtown, get it approved, and they have to change it at central office, which usually takes at least two days. I don't know if they don't pay attention to our requests, or we don't make the requests, but half the time the air conditioner is doing the wrong thing. It was turned onto heat when it was still burning up in October. It was turned onto air in early March. So we're finally going to be getting control over our own air with this new system, but it takes 60 days to redo the old system. So we had a choice: no air in May, or no air in August. We chose May. This means that for about 3 weeks, starting at about 10 am, it was probably at least 85 degrees in my room. And I had to teach. To kids who had already taken SATP tests. And who already fall asleep when we read. It was fun. I mean, the kids already thought school was finished. And, apparently, they were finished with work in their other classes. So if I tried to teach a lesson, I got several variations of the same basic response: "Man, I ain't doin' no work when it hot." Sometimes it came with more vulgarities to preface it ("GawdDAMN, when you gowna leave me 'lone?"). Sometimes it came with just a roll of an eye or a swing of an arm in the general direction of my voice. But invariably, it came. I think I started to push my luck, and would walk around to poke sleeping students in the face with paper or pencils. Much to the amusement of myself, I don't think the joviality was reciprocated.
Nevertheless, at one point during one of the worst hot spells (and expectedly, during my last and hottest class of the day), the administration came over the intercom to make an announcement that went something like this:
"Good afternoon faculty and staff, and please excuse this interruption. There has been a water pipe in the building that has just broken. We are in the process of shutting off all the water in the building. Please do not allow any students to leave your class to use the restroom or go to the waterfountain. Thank you."
This was at about 2:15, which means we still had another hour and twenty minutes left in class. And we had just come back from lunch. And I had four pregnant girls in my classroom. Ah, the joys of teaching.

Prom

2007-05-06T09:25:00.000-07:00

After picturing in my mind what this event was going to be like for the past few weeks, getting my tux cleaned, inviting my brother (who was visiting me for the weekend), and talking smack to the kids about my dance moves, the event finally arrived last night. On the invitation, it said prom lasted from 8-11 pm. So my brother, another teacher, and I pulled up decked out in our best formal wear about 8:20. We were the only people there, with the exception of one poor couple, who, like us, apparently didn't realize that you weren't really supposed to show up until an hour after it starts. So we sat there out of place -- as if three white guys at an all black prom weren't already out of place enough -- and waited.... for forty minutes. Kids didn't show up until 9. And the majority of them didn't show up until 9:15-9:30. We had already ordered the De La Hoya - Mayweather, Jr. fight on Pay Per View, so we had to head out at 9:45. I got to watch 15 minutes of dancing. I got to talk to a handful of my students. I was disappointed. I'd been building this event up for so long and it fell so far short of my expectations, mainly because I should've known better than expect them to show up when I expected them to.
On the positive side though, it was a great opportunity to watch the kids in their element. I'm still amazed at how different the kids act towards you when you're not trying to teach them something. Kids that in class hate me came up to me and gave me hugs or handshakes or cracked jokes. I really wanted to get out there with them and make a fool of myself, but I was so conscious of an administrator thinking it was inapporpriate or unprofessional, that I stayed in my seat the entire time I was there. I still in a sense resent some of the higher-ups at my school that assume in order to be an effective teacher, you can't be friendly with a student. That's not my style at all. I think the more a kid sees you as a real person who is understanding and genuinely wants to help, the more likely they are to respect you and act accordingly in your class.
Anyways, we left by 9:45. I'm sure I'll catch hell from the kids on Monday. I guess I'll just know better next year. I'm going to have to attempt to start back teaching this week after basically having two weeks where I never saw the kids, so that's going to be fun. I've got the days marked until I'm done and I'm really looking forward to the summer. I guess it's not completely the end thought. There's still one more major event that can possibly live up to the pre-hype of prom: graduation. I really hope that one doesn't disappoint.

To Teach or Not to Teach?

2007-05-04T16:55:00.000-07:00

So I guess I should really be thankful that SATP tests are over. The overall intense atmosphere of the school is starting to subside, but it's quickly being replaced by a carefree attitude. I had done all my planning and preparing, and after SATP week, I only had 2 weeks of teaching left with seniors and then one week of exams. But so much stuff is being crammed in, that I'm wondering if it's even worth teaching anything these last few days. This week, for example, half of the seniors were out of class for Advanced Seminar projects. The other half were out for field trips with random organizations. Those that were there fought me tooth and nail when I tried to make them do work. And those that missed aren't coming back to get their makeup work. Next week, seniors have two breakfasts, a picnic, two practices for Class Day, and the program for class day -- all of which they will miss my class for. This isn't even taking into consideration the AP exams next week. Do I go ahead and teach to the 30-40% of class that's there and hope the rest make it up (but realistically know they're probably going to bomb the test on the new material)? It's starting to extend to the juniors too. Today was the day before prom. Prom takes place tomorrow night at 8 pm. Apparently, it takes two full days to get your hair "did," your nails "did," your dress ready, and all the other things that go into making a perfect night, because I had 9 students out of 29 in my 4A class today (they either didn't come or got a dismissal). I knew anything I covered with those nine would have to be recovered next time I saw the full class, so we sat around and talked about racism for an hour and half today. I have to admit, it was nice. Really nice. We had an intellectual conversation that was organized and the kids actually listened to what I said. But I couldn't help feeling guilty because I wasn't actually teaching the content -- I was giving into the culture of the school that pressures you not to teach and not to give the kids work. I was speaking with a veteran teacher the other day who somehow has maintained her standards, integrity, and sanity throughout the years by unflappably teaching as long as students were in her class. Now granted, she was failing the valadictorian at one time, but I can't help to respect and aspire to her style. It's just that at this point in the year it's so hard not to give into what everyone else is doing (nothing) than do what I know is the right thing.

MTC First Year Summer Survival Kit

2007-03-31T14:28:00.000-07:00

Ben has requested that we blog this month about what incoming MTCers should know about the program before they arrive. So here's my compilation of a combination of some very good advice and some very important truths I've come to realize in my nine months in the program:
1) It will be said to you a thousand times during your two years, and it will be true each time -- this is the hardest thing you will ever do. The hours suck, the stress is at times unbearable, you feel separated from your friends, family, and at times the rest of the world, and you're doing a thankless job for (mostly) ungrateful people. But it's worth it. Even though I complain probably more than my fair share, it's still somehow worth it. Even when I go through the three months without a real bright spot, the one student who comes to me and tells me my understanding while his father attempted suicide and his mother was evicted helped him out erases the previous months.
2) You can't do it alone, and don't try. One of the biggest assets of the program is the people involved. Take advantage of them. Go to the socials. Play frisbee (although be prepared to bring your A game). Live with roomates (for God's sake, please don't live by yourself -- anything to curb the depression that will inevitably take place). Talk to Ben, Dr. Mullins, or other people who have experience. Keep in contact back home.
3) This job will consume every ounce of you. I can remember having nightmares before I even started teaching about losing control of the class. Nine months later, I still dream about my students. Even when I'm on vacation, I can't ever fully relax because I'm worried about how I can get studens who are failing to pass or I'm worried about how I'm going to keep my students awake and interested during Macbeth. It never leaves your thoughts.
4) Laugh. A lot. You have to. The girl who cusses you out to your face -- that's funny in retrospect. All the crazy things you'll here come out of your kids' mouths is funny, although it may not appear that way until afterwords. The vulgar notes you take up, the inefficiency of your administration, the modeling squad show that the students will miss 4 days of your class for -- while all of it is frustrating, aggravating, and completely ridiculous, if you can't laugh at it just a little bit, then you won't survive. Which leads to the next piece of advice...
5) Don't think of it as survival. You are in control of your classroom. Your rules are not inane, stupid, too hard, or unreasonable, despite what your students say. If you let them know about it, then stick to it. If you go in thinking "I have to survive" then you're looking at things the wrong way.
In all, think of it as any other experience. Go in impressionable and flexible, but stern. Have fun with it -- remember, they're just kids.

At a loss

2007-03-29T19:29:00.000-07:00

So one of the students that I took up to Ole Miss in the fall came to talk to me after school the other day. He missed the first two weeks of this semester because he was sick and he missed all of last week, so he was trying to get caught up. He explained to me some of the home problems he had been having lately: He went to Texas for Spring Break to see his sister and his neice and nephews, but was called back to Jackson because his mother was evicted from her house and was apparently sleeping on the couch in the front yard. His father had walked two days to Jackson to be around his family so he could commit suicide. My student had to talk his father through the aftermath. He's also worried about his mother because she's having an affair with a married man, but whenever he tells her she's in a bad relationship, she yells at him. He originally planned to move to Texas after this year to start fresh (because of his grades and some problems he's having with people that live around him), but now he found out his sister (the only stable relative in his life) is being shipped to Korea. He said he and his brother like to get out of the house as much as possible because their mother cusses them out a lot, and so they hang out with an older crowd. He admitted they're both on drugs, although he's quitting because he plans on going into the army. He feels pressure to keep working at his job to help his mom out with the bills, but he really doesn't need to because his grades are slipping. He's worried because he has his sister to pay for a lot of his possessions, but she's leaving, his mother can't, and he doesn't know if he continue helping support himself, his mother, and his little brother. He's seriously considering dropping out, although he was one of 3 students to test higher than a 12th grade reading level.
I didn't know what to do or say except tell him I'd work with him and gave him my numbers at home and my cell so he can call me if he needs to talk or wants advice. I was at a loss for words, trying not to show emotion so that he wouldn' t either.
It's so hard to hold him to the same expectations academically in my class (which now seem so trivial, comparably) knowing this about him.

More Confusion

2007-03-04T15:41:00.000-08:00

My school is so disorganized at times. Recently, the administration has been calling the students from certain classes to lunch 15 minutes early every day. That means I have to start cutting my lessons short every day during 2nd block. There's no explanation why it's being done, but I can assume it is an effort to move the lunch line faster so we can have more instructional time (ironic, I know). We are also losing more and more time as state tests approach. In one particular class, I had a student miss five straight class periods (2 weeks straight on our schedule) because she was in "Tutorial." The students in this class are Honors students and very few, if any, were in any real danger of failing the state test, which is considered by far the easiest of the four. I think I created an enemy with the teacher when I wrote a letter to the administrator letting her know that these students were missing my class consistently and not turning in any of their makeup work (the students assumed since they weren't in class, they didn't have to do it). The most recent example is our exam schedule. We were told Friday afternoon after school (when everyone was leaving) that we needed to look over next week's exam schedule. Because district nine week tests are being given, the administration decided to readjust the schedule for the entire week. I consider myself of moderate intelligence, but I have no idea how the hell I am supposed to read this schedule. It's extremely hard to plan for the week when I don't know when, if, or for how long I will see what classes. To compound the problem, each of my classes are at different points in the curriculum. Due to remediation days (yes, we have entire days where the SATP students are in the auditorium for 6 hours doing remediation), basketball playoffs, and one of my personal absences, each of my classes is doing something different, making it very tough to figure out what to do to get them caught up and finished with the information before Spring Break. I guess all I can do is wait it out and count the hours down until Friday.
On a lighter note, I'm so excited about 4th term. I may be completely off-base here, but my understanding is that 4th term consists of sitting with your homeroom for hours on end completing makeup work and crossword puzzles while different students come in and out of tests. I know it sounds like I'm a little too excited about the lack of learning I'm anticipating, but I'm so tired of planning all the time (and the grading that comes with it), that it will be so relaxing just to sit and listen without instructing for a while. I really hope no one bursts my bubble by telling me I've been competetly misinformed, but that's my plan for the next nine weeks. Well, that coupled with the occasionally student-teacher basketball game.... which reminds me, I need to start practicing.

Too lax?

2007-03-04T10:13:00.000-08:00

So lately I've found myself having some interesting confrontations with some normally good students. These students aren't necessarily being disruptive or disrespectful, but they are exhibitng some odd behavior. I'd probably have to attribute it to my repoire with the students: I still feel like I'm being firm, but I'm becoming more and more of a smart-ass. Just making wise comments all the time. I can't help myself. But I think one of the effects is I'm indirectly telling my good students, hey, it's okay to slack off and goof off a lot as long as Mr. P's in a good mood. I'll give you an example. The following as an essay a student turned into me recently. All English students in my district were required to write about "An Embarrasing Moment." This student, who I can only describe as Dwight from "The Office," is normally a good, motivated, albiet a little strange, Honors student. Needless to say, I was shocked and even more amused when I received his essay (all grammatical errors have been left unchanged, and I have included what I wrote on his essay):

As I search the archives of my memory, I can only recall my most embarrassing moment. I remember it as if it happened yesterday.

It all started during Thanksgiving Break. I was going to KU’s SuperStore to buy a new outfit when I saw Mr. Pollard. I walked over to him and was surprised to see him dressed like a pimp. “Mr. Pollard, is that you?” “Stevie, nice to see you player,” he said. “Mr. Pollard is the name I use when I am in school dog, but outside of school I go by another name,” Mr. Pollard said. I asked, “And what name is that?” He said, “A Pimp Named Slickback!”

I said, “Alright Slickback!” “No, it is a A Pimp Named Slickback!” “That is what I said,” I said. He said, “It is A Pimp Named Slickback.” I said, “Alright, you are a pimp and your name is Slickback,” now aggrevated. So I walked off, bought my outfit, and went home.

Later on that day, I was playing some basketball with my boys. My team was in the lead by then points and only needed on more shot to win. Then it happened: A Pimp Named Slickback showed up and distracted me. That was the opening Paris, who was on the opposing team, needed. He came up behind me and pull down not only my pants, but my underwear too. Everybody on the court saw what my private parts looked like. I was so embrarrassed, I could not take it. My anger for both Slickback and Paris consumed me like wildfire. I pounced on Paris with vengence in my eyes, and merciless beat Paris senseless. I took all the guys to pull me off of Paris. I then stormed off towards Slickback, and punched him out. I figured he was angry at me for not getting his name right. At the end of the day, I was more embarrassed than angry for one reason: everybody including the girls saw what my private parts looked like. Then my phone rang. It was everybody from the basketball court saying it was cool and promising not to tell anyone what happened. The girls did say I had a nice looking package though.

The End

Stevie –

This is very creative and amusing; however, I’m not quire sure this is appropriate for and English class, especially the last line.

I don't know if I'm going to continue with my current attitude in class or not; I really don't think my classroom management has become less consistent, but incidents like this make me wonder if I'm not sending the wrong message.

February update

2007-02-06T16:47:00.000-08:00

I'm completely shocked by two things that I've noticed recently: 1) the discrepancy in maturity level between my eleventh graders and my twelfth grades, and 2) the lack of effect that any form of consequence has on some students. Today was a bad day with two of my classes (both of which consist of 11th graders). I had to deal with problems that I should not be dealing with at this stage. Stealing people's shoes, constantly wandering around, laughing at infantile jokes -- this isn't the behavior you would expect from 16 and 17 year olds. On the other hand, the students I have just a year older don't give me any of these problems. Sure, there are sleepers, talkers, and complainers, but I'm not having to hold their hands as we walk down the hall.
I held detention day and one student showed up. This is the second week in a row where at least 2 people have skipped. I write them up, they get ISS, they come back to my class, and it's the same behavior. Now this is not all students. A well-placed detention, phone call home, or writing assignment can work wonders some times. But there are the few where nothing seems to work. Even failing. The best I can hope for is to bore them to sleep or hope they're absent. I've also found myself almost waiting for a particular student to mess up so I can nail him/her, which is completely unfair to those few. But it's so hard to erase from memory what has happened every other day for the past 6 months. Ahh... looking forward to 2 1/2 days without students. Hopefully I can get some work done.

Starting to Fade

2007-01-23T17:46:00.001-08:00

So, the great feeling of rejuvenation that I unabashedly revealed to everyone during the first two weeks of school has slowly been replaced with a dull fatigue that I think may be developing into depression. I have no time. Zero. And I'm not even doing anything particularly difficult (in comparison to other MTCers... I don't want to imply that teaching in general isn't single-handedly the hardest experience of my life) -- no extracurricular activities, only 2.5 preps, very few "great" lessons. My time is spent grading, lesson planning, and calling parents. And I'm still being bitten in the ass. I received a letter from a parent who failed my class first term and barely passed second term. She wants me to explain why he has only marginally improved, show documentation of my contacts with her about his grades or behavior (of which I can only find 2 of 3 contacts, both of which are at the beginning and end of the semester), documentation of my plan to help him learn the material, and a few other things. I'm not sure I have all of these. At least not like I'm supposed to. But it's not necessarily for a lack of trying. It's because when I come home, in order to cover myself for all the behavioral/grade problems I'm dealing with, it would take approximately an hour per night to continually inform all the parents. I've made over 100 calls the last semester. And it still wasn't good enough. I was chewed out the other night because I just told a parent that her daughter failed first semester and will have to make an 85 or higher the rest of the year to pass. To reiterate, I have no time. My lessons are suffering because I'm trying to cover myself on this. I can't create good assessments. To top it all of, I haven't done anything extracurricular. I hope jazz band starts in the next couple of weeks, but I'm not sure how many days a week I can commit to that. I'm already nervous that I will have to take time away from the other things I need to be doing to be an adequate (not good) teacher. My sympathies go out to any of you who are trying to carry on a relationship with a significant other or read a novel for fun or take up basket weaving, because to me it doesn't seem possible. I keep hearing these people tell me to work smarter, not harder, but I feel like I'm limited in what I can do in that sense. The more I work, the more I realize I could be doing to be a better teacher and it's an overwhelming realization. I need a break. Dear God I need a break. But I can't think of a day that I can miss where my students won't fall almost hopelessly behind in something they need to do. Oh well. I guess I'll keep on keepin' on.

Uhh... so when do I get to teach?

2006-12-13T17:45:00.000-08:00

I feel like all of JPS, and my school particularly, is so concerned with external appearances that they've forgotten (or either don't care, which is a scary thought in itself) what an effective classroom should really look like. Exams start this week. I was told, along with all the other teachers, that our final exams had to be in at the beginning of the week. Proud of myself for actually being a little ahead of the game, I turned in the two exams I was giving on time. That afternoon, I was called into my department head's classroom and told that one of my exams had to be changed. Actually, I was told, "Can you make this one look more like this one?" I replied, a little confused, "What's the difference?" My coach continued, "Well, look. The is exam is typed and nice and neat. This exam has the numbering written on it in sharpee marker. And look how some of the questions are a little crooked." I stared at her dumbfounded. "Are you serious?" I stammered. "You want me to retype the entire exam, 87 questions and answers, because some of the questions are 'a little crooked'?" She explained, "Yes, see it's not professional. If someone from the district came in and saw this test, they would say it wouldn't look professional and think that it wasn't a good test." I laughed. I had too. What else can you do? I guess I should explain that the vast majority of the questions on this exam were taken from previous tests/books, so we had placed them on a sheet and photocopied the sheet. So question one on our final exam, for example, may have been question twelve in the book or test it came from; therefore, it was necessary that we rewrite the new numbers in sharpee (I say we because I work with a very competent teacher who teaches the same subject -- she was as appalled as I was). So I wasted a good 45 minutes of my night last night retyping the damn test. Even though I already had a perfectly good one. Why does anyone even give a shit? Why can't they look at the questions and say, "Wow, those will really make the kids think?"
We had two departmental meetings within 5 school days that were the exact same meeting. The exact same agenda, handouts, words, everything. Why? Because we were having a "learning walk" (new buzz word down here) in the next few days, and they wanted everyone's word wall to be eye level in black ink, agenda on the board, all the same subject teachers teaching the same thing, all wearing the same clothes, all saying the same thing, all becoming more and more like the robots they wish they could create. The best part? The fucking learning walk never even took place.
When will someone come in and actually listen to my lesson? When will people stop telling my desks are too crowded, my handwriting is too messy, my lesson plans are in the wrong format, my work displayed doesn't have a rubric, and start fucking paying attention to what and how I teach?

End of Semester Reflections

2006-12-08T20:10:00.000-08:00

I came into this school year too naive, too proud, and too stubborn to listen to what other, older, wiser teachers tried to tell me. I tried to be the kids' friend. I admit it. I was stressed and anxious, and I wanted them to like me. I try to be funny. And I am. I know how to turn on the charm. But I know it gets me in trouble lots of time. I never really established the classroom as an environment where learning was serious and took priority over everything else. I mean, we learned. And we were serious. But the learning was always interspersed (and I thought amplified) by my sense of humor. I think that's an asset for me, but at times I turn it into a detriment. I still do it too. When things aren't going well (not behaviorally, but when kids are becoming bored), I rely on something funny to try and break the ice, and I think that unconsciously the kids see me as their older, whiter brother sometimes instead of their teacher.

I get so frustrated because I care so much. R.G., whom I blogged about earlier and whom I took to Ole Miss, got suspended again today. And won't be there Monday. He has so much potential. He's so smart, so funny, so likeable. He just has too much pride. As I told him, he needs to learn to brush the haters off, and stop trying to defend every trivial insult. I'm so unhappy sometimes because I care. Because I want to do what I need to do to become the better teacher. But I know that's going to require a lot more of a commitment on my part.

At some point, it's on the kids. I can offer after school tutorial, make up work, extra credit, tap you every time you go to sleep, show movies and play audio in addition to reading the text, call home, and talk to you individually. But at some point, the onus comes off of me and is placed squarely on your shoulders. I know it probably sounds like I'm making excuses, but I get so damn sick and tired of spoon-feeding kids the bare minimum required to pass. And I'm pissed that I let the 8 percent I'm referring to affect my entire outlook.

I can't wait for Jazz Band. I know when I get involved in extracurricular activities, it's going to be even more stressful because I'll have less time and more responsibility, but I crave more one on one time with these kids without the accountability of teaching them something. I know I've already lost some chops because I haven't touched the saxophone in 5 months, but I still think I can show enough to impress them.

I'll leave with this final thought. I was speaking to a teacher the other day who extended an analogy our principal always makes. He loves to compare our institution to a football team, claiming that championships aren't won during the playoff games, but during the two-a-day practices in the 100 degree August heat. Well my colleague modified the analogy, claiming that we're being asked to field a team, most of whom don't like football, some of whom don't show up to practice for various reasons, and the majority that are metaphorically playing on crutches. I think that's what makes it so rewarding and so remarkable. Sure, you fumble a lot, your center steps on the quarterback's feet, and your wide receivers run the wrong route. But occasionally, the line blocks well, the hand off is clean, and your running back stretches the few extra inches for the first down. That's when it's amazing to be doing the things I'm doing.

Sticking to the Rules

2006-11-18T08:32:00.000-08:00

To be honest, I never really jumped into this assignment wholeheartedly. I knew I wouldn't be abel to do it from the moment it was assigned. I think the main reason is because my classroom management isn't necessarily based on a cool, calculated, detached commitment to consistency, but rather keeping the students appeased with my sense of humor and always having something to do. I spend more of my time staying on top of individuals and breaking any tension with humor than always applying the "fair" consequence. Not that my consequences aren't fair, but I let student's know when they're getting a favor from me (I hold onto a referral form and let them know I'm keeping it for the next time, or I allow them to turn in a writing assignment late occasionally while making them feel guilty and fortunate). Now this isn't every time, but I feel like if the student feels that I like him/her or I'm trying to give him/her the benefit of the doubt, then he will be more apt to remember it in the future and try and cut me some slack. Coming down hard EVERY time creates so much antagonism between myself and the students. And I want my students to know that I like them -- and they do. Now this doesn't mean I don't get onto students for talking, I don't hand out writing assignments often, and I don't turn in referrals. I do. Every single time a student refuses to do something I ask (whether it's changing seats, not handing over a cellphone, etc.) they get a referral. But I try not to go to that extreme for talking or disrespect, unless it's extreme. I try to talk to them individually and then let them know I'm not upset with them, and I've found that this works. I had a nice feel-good moment the other day when I gave a lecture to my seniors who were compaining about a test they just took. I told them they have to take responsibility for their actions, and that the minimum I expect from them is to come into class, follow along in the reading, and pay attention. Do that, and you'll pass. I gave them an opportunity to tell me if they thought I was being unreasonabe and it started out brutal. But one by one, the students came to my defense against the ones that were attacking me. I could tell they appreciated my jokes, appreciated my going the extra mile to let them make up tests when they failed, appreciated my proofreading essays they wanted to turn in early. I finally see it starting to pay off. And it feels good.

Classroom Management Blog

2006-11-10T20:00:00.000-08:00

I guess I probably should've done this reflection even if I wasn't being forced to, seeing as how I was told by my principal that I needed to watch a model lesson of a retired teacher. (A little perspective is needed -- my principal expects everyone to have complete control of his/her students at all times and sticks his head into my room probably at least an average of 2/3 times a day. I am the first room down from his office.) Needless to say, things could have been going better. I went into the school year with somewhat of a false perception about my own classroom management skills. During summer school, we had about 22 students and six teachers. Anyone comes out smelling like roses in that situation. I think I put too much stock into trying to get my students to like me and into trying to be funny at the beginning of the year and I had to learn that these students are not mature enough to make the distinction between likeable teacher and authority figure. Not that things necessarily went bad, but I could've done better. Much better. Particularly with a couple of classes. I found myself several times throughout the first term purposely avoiding giving consequences to students with whom I knew I'd have a confrontation. And I still occasionally run out of writing assignments some days so I let the later periods get away with way too much shit. But I'm doing better. I've started deducting daily participation points for speaking out of turn, sleeping, not bringing materials, etc. I think it's working. I have a strange relationship with my students in that virtually every single one likes me outside of the classroom (I make lots of jokes), but I somehow get respect within it. This has come after sending multiple students to the office for saying things that would normally get me to laugh outside of the classroom environment. I guess overall I'm still following my consequences, just not perfectly every single time. I have detention every Thursday for students that don't do writing assignments (I usually have about 2-4). I still pass out writing assignments. I give referrals to any student that refuses to do what I ask, regardless. But I still could use work. I still joke around too much, let students talk too much, don't come down hard for inappropriate comments all the time (it's hard when I'm laughing with them), etc. But I'm trying. And it's not out of control. It makes me feel good when I have other teachers coming up to me saying, "Mr. Peetie, you're students REALLY love you." And I can tell. I just need to show them my tough love a little more often.

After School Mentor

2006-10-17T16:07:00.000-07:00

I've found myself staying later and later after school. Everyday, I have intentions of getting ahead (or catching up, depending on the day of the week) on grading, lesson planning, or filing papers, but something always seems to come up that cuts into my time. Today, I found myself playing the mentor. I find the timing somewhat appropriate because on Thursday night, I'm playing "father" to one of my students at a "Father-Son/Mentor-Son Night Out" at the local Presbyterian church. I imagine I'll look more out of place than usual (assuming I'm the only white person there) as I play father to an African-American student who is about 3 inches taller than I am. But getting back to today's episode, I had a former student, JC, get into a fight after school Something I've been really impressed with so far is that this is the second fight we've had at our school the entire year. Now as I said, JC is a FORMER student. The first two weeks of class he refused to do any work, the next three weeks he was suspended (for an episode with another teacher, not me), the next three I tried my best to get him to even pretend like he was doing work, but he was finally moved out of my class after I told my principal I was having problems controlling some students' behavior in this particular class (I was under the impression I would get a meeting with the three students I specifically mentioned, but to my shock they were simply moved out of my class the next day without my input -- I'm not going to lie and say I wasn't a little relieved). Anyways, because JC was in a fight after he's already been suspended and moved out of my class, he most likely will be expelled, which means he goes to Capital City (the alternative school) for the second consecutive year. After the fight was over (which I didn't get to witness, by the way), one of my current students, RG, walked by my classroom. I asked him what he was doing, received the standard "chillin'," and invited him in. Recently, I've noticed RG has been hanging out a lot with JC -- at lunch, in the halls, at the football games, etc. I began my lecture by asking RG how close he was with JC, explaining that I'd seen them together on several occasions. After I was informed that they were in fact "boys," I proceeded to explain to RG that the persons he chooses to associate with can seriously affect the outcome of his life and that I would hate to see him do something detrimental to his future because he was being influenced by someone else's choices or decisions. It's really scary how much I sounded like my parents. At this point, Robert knew exactly to what I was referring, and attempted to defend his and JC's actions. I couldn't really tell how seriously he was taking the conversation until it began to take a turn into discussing backgrounds and futures. He explained to me that he was from "the bad hood," along with JC, but that he, unlike JC and most of the other people from "the bad hood," was not a thug. He didn't have tattoos, earrings, grills, etc. All this is true -- RG is one of the most well-spoken, likeable students I have. However, I was informed that, to him, it is unacceptable to let someone take his back, as JC was apparently doing, and not physically respond. Also, RG told me that he had been letting things slide with the other assailant in the fight, and that he was intending to "finish" the fight that JC had started. I again started in on my lecture about how one cannot control what others do to him, but only what his reaction is. I was obviously not getting through, as RG kept defending his actions and thoughts, claiming "I'm gonna take that boy DOWN tomorrow." In his rambling, RG mentioned how he wanted to get out of his neighborhood. I seized the opportunity and pulled RG over to my desk to show him his grade: a 58%. 69% is passing. He stammered, "Is that going on my report card?" I informed him that it was, and showed him the four assignments that he never turned in. I then took it a step further and pulled out the Reading Comprehension results that each student took about 4 weeks ago. RG, along with about 6 or 7 other Honors 11th graders that I taught, scored higher than a 13th grade reading level. According to the standardized test, he was one of the 6 or 7 smartest students I had, and these are out of Honors students. I then showed him the selected list of 25 11th graders that are taking the PSAT tomorrow -- his name was on the list. I explained that I handpicked those students based on who I thought had the most potential to score well, and that if he does really well on this test, colleges will pay him to go there. He was shocked. I then explained to him that he has the potential to have an A in my class, but because he's lazy (those were my words) and comes into class late, doesn't turn in work, sleeps, and hits on girls, he is failing my class. And it's not close. He's miserably failing. He didn't say anything for about 30 seconds, and just started nodded his head. "I'm gonna do better Mr. P... thanks. We need to have another one of these talks." He left me wondering what is going to happen tomorrow.

Learning Styles Inventory

2006-10-13T16:36:00.000-07:00

I gave a learning styles inventory to 4 of my 6 classes (the other two I rarely see because of assemblies that ALWAYS fall during this class period). Considering that this survey only had three options for the students to select (Visual, Auditory, or Kinesthetic), I fully anticpated my students to be overwhelmingly visual learners. Why did I expect this? Because they completely tune me out. I automatically assumed that because I say things over and over again (give instructions, discuss literary terms, assign homework due dates) and the students hardly respond to what I say, that they must not be auditory learners. Nope. I was wrong. According to the survey, they were mostly auditory learners. This surprised me a little. I'm a little disappointed in the fact that my auditory instruction is apparently falling on deaf ears if this is the way they learn the best. Granted, the results were not overwhelmingly auditory; however, it was a clear leader. I was trying to think of ways that, had the results been different, I would implement more visual or kinesthetic tactics, and I have to admit I'm a little relieved I don't need to do as much. Although I feel like my best days are when I'm extremely well-prepared with a strong set, I'm finding it harder and harder to stay creative and original. So I must say it's somewhat of a comfort to know that I'm not as accountable for always being creative and novel.

Poverty Blog

2006-09-16T05:34:00.000-07:00

In reading A Framework For Understanding Poverty, a few key issues really hit home with me because of how they related to my experiences with my children these first few weeks. First of all, the idea of the circular narrative pattern and value placed on the "storyteller." A few weeks ago, I had the students do a compare/contrast essay based on two autobiographies we had read, The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin and The Slave Narrative of Frederick Douglass. The biggest problem I had was organization, because my students wanted to discuss their lives as summary instead of the format I asked, where they actually compared and contrasted several aspects of the two men's lives. In particular, I had one student who turned in an essay something along the lines of the following:
"Well, ol' Freddie had it rough. And I mean real rough. He had to take those beatings from mean ol' Mr. Covey day after day, and you know it wasn't going to take but one more time to set him off." She actually referred to Franklin and Douglass as "Bennie" and "Freddie." The story was completely entertaining, but absolutely off topic. In another example, I was having problems getting my two Honors sections of 11th grade to take home a copy of The Great Gatsby and read it for a test. Now these are the students whose parents I saw on parent-teacher conference day (well, probably about 60% of the 55 Honors III students I have). I have one other English III class that is not Honors (composed of juniors, seniors who failed last year, and sophomores who passed English II but failed the state test); I saw probably 10% of this class's parents. Anyways, when I gave in to the fact that I was going to have to give the students a synopsis of the novel instead of having them read the book, my regular English III class was hanging on my every word. Drinking, spousal abuse, affairs, mistresses being run over by wives -- they loved it. I gave away 20 books in that one class so they could take it home and read the entire novel in one weekend. And THEY requested to take the books, I didn't initially offer. I think in part, it can be contributed to the fact that the story (which took me 45 minutes to get through because they were constantly guessing at what happened next and interjecting their own comments) was, to them, extremely entertaining (granted, I highlighted the more juicy parts).
Also, the section in this book that discusses the matriarchal figure as unquestioned head of the household really made me think too. I was surprised that I have students that myself, the administration, the coaches, the friends, etc. cannot get to do work; however, the mother can get them to do almost anything. Some of these students are 18 and 19, have 3 and 4 year old children of their own, are into God knows what outside of school, but are still controlled by their mother, who may only be 14 years older than they are. Wow.

One down....

2006-08-12T14:05:00.000-07:00

35 more weeks to go. My first week is over and I have to admit, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been or as I anticpated it. A few observations: 1) I can't believe how different I am with different classes. I have an two Honors sections that I adore. I can joke around, have discussions, tell them about myself, and ask their collective thoughts without it becoming out of control. These classes love me. I have juniors coming up to me every day asking if they can transfer into my class. With my seniors, it's another story. They don't wanna work, they don't like my rules, any time we try to have a discussion or group work they get out of hand and won't calm down, so I have to be a hardass. I have seniors come up to me almost every day telling me they're going to transfer out of my class. 2) It's amazing how aggressive the students and administators are. My second day, I was taking a student to the office for refusing to do any work. When I stopped to ask another teacher to cover my class for a minute, she and another colleague (again female) both came outside and started to rip into my student. I'll quote part of what was actually said: "Boy, if I wouldn't get in trouble I'd take you into that bathroom and jack you up myself!" The student, who had refused to answer any of my calm, rational options or responses, willingly went back into the classroom and did my work. Also, every day I hear an administrator use the word "butt" in telling a student to get his or her butt "back where you came from" or "to wherever you're going." There are no requests, salutations, "pleases" or "thank yous." An administrator came into my room the other day when I was reading the required sections of the student handbook to my Honors class. Because the students had all heard this before, I didn't mind if they slept or put their head down as long as they were quiet. The administrator came in unannounced, walked to the back of the room, and popped the hell out of a student that was asleep on his desk. Everyone else laughed and I kept reading. 3) The worst part of my school day is after school is dismissed. Myself, with about 5-7 other male teachers, stand outside the school and watch as the entire student body mingles and waits for the buses to leave. The students can get away with anything here. Cursing, use of cell phones, giving the bird, pushing and shoving are all allowed. A student came up to me the other day and said to my face, "Yeah, boy, you in the real world now." I couldn't do anything because if I asked for his name, I wouldn't know whether he was telling the truth or not. Also, if I tried to escort him to the office, he could have walked down the street to his house. I asked him to repeat himself and muttered something about me being white. I'll go ahead and say it now, there will be a fight or some other problem during this period before the school year is out. 4) My students are not used to a teacher as strict as I am. They don't like raising their hands to do anything and they don't like how I control the discussion. Many of them complained ad nauseum about my bathroom policy (2 emergency uses per semester) and/or the amount of work I gave them during the first week (every class had to do at least 2 writing assignments where they wrote at least 1/2 page). But despite the fact that they are reluctant to do the work, I think most of them really want to learn and really want to be challenged. 5) I am so tired. Up at 6:20 every morning, home from work about 5, grade papers, lesson plan, eat, watch "Entourage" with the roomates, talk to the girlfriend, and then it's bedtime. I can't wait until I get more organized. 6) I'm still in survival mode. It's going to be nice when I can get to the point where kids leave class and I'm not thinking "Thank God no one killed anybody else." It's actually not that bad, but I still feel like I'm trying to keep them entertained/quiet instead of getting them to learn.
All that being said, the primary reason I don't feel overwhelmed is because of the support I have. Classmates who are going through the same thing, roomates who share the same stories and give me ideas, friends that laugh at my expense but also care, a girlfriend who genuinely wants to help, professors that are concerned, and family that provides constant support. Thanks to all of you.

A What? A Blog

2006-08-02T18:42:00.000-07:00

So now that I've spent the past 7 days either in district induction or school induction, I've noticed some observations among my colleagues. First of all, very few teachers can listen to a presentation without commenting. Someone (at least one person, but most of the time it's more like 3-12, depending on the size of the group) has to expound upon her (occasionally it's a male, but not usually) personal feelings/experiences/thoughts/beliefs on whatever subject is being discussed. And when I say subject, I don't mean something broad and general, like "Getting Parents Involved." I mean something as specific and trivial as a book that someone read 5 pages of in the third grade while visiting a sick grandmother in Kansas City. Possible responses: "Oooh, yes, I love that book... I read that to my kids every day!" or "Mmmhmm, don't act like you haven't read that one." At first, this was pretty amusing. Seven days later, extremely irritating. Another common theme is interjecting the question "what?" into mid-sentence and then answering the question without pause. I can't decide if this is some feeble attempt at teaching that hasn't been weeded out, or if this is a cultural thing, but it blows my mind. The funny thing about this is that you can provide the "what?" at any point and in any context, whether the proceeding answer is obvious or completely random. Some examples: "We just go on and on and what? on" or "I hope you all have a complete and thorough what? understanding" or "We've got to what? access students skills of understanding" or "Notice how each table what? has its back." I can't understand if these questioners really expect us to be that intuned with their thought process or if it's purposely rhetorical, but it's fascinating. Finally, no one can fail. And I think that this partially contributes with the low academic success of our schools. People can give answers that are completely wrong, irrelevant, illogical, irrational, or just plan stupid, but no one will openly correct them. People might not say anything or write their own answers or not comment, but in general everyone is so reluctant to tell someone that they're doing something wrong. And I'm guilty of this too. Partially because I'm nonconfrontational by nature and partially because I'm a new teacher, but I won't correct someone either. I think that someone should be delegated group leader or something at all these workshops to make sure that teachers aren't getting the wrong information. Everyone is really supportive, but let's be honest, not every idea can be the greatest thing you've ever heard. Anyways, these were just some observations I've had on what? my first few days in the swing of things.

Last Impressions (Self-Selected July: II)

2006-07-24T16:11:00.000-07:00

So training is officially over and we're now left to fend for ourselves until we reconvene in about a month. Am I scared? Damn straight. I think I've subconsciously been avoiding having to confront the reality of my situation. I feel I'm prepared. And I'm confident in my abilities. But I keep having reocurring dreams where I completely lose control in the classroom. I'm afraid I'm going to somehow forgot the wealth of knowledge I've accumulated in the last two moments and do the wrong thing (like give empty threats instead of two choices -- something which actually happened in my dream). I think the nervousness will start to subside once I started getting really organized and planning out the year and see my room and composing lesson plans. But until then...... I think everyone else will be okay, for the most part. I have my ideas about some people, but we'll see. The place I'm stealing internet from is closing, so I've gotta make this quick. We got power and water today (hoorah!). Hopefully internet's coming in the next few days so the blogs won't be on such a long hiatus.

My School (Self-Selected July: I)

2006-07-24T15:56:00.000-07:00

So whenever I tell people who know anything about the school systems in Jackson that I'm teaching 11th and 12th grade English at Lanier High School, I get one of two reactions: 1) The "That's The Worst School In The History Of The World" Speech or 2) The "You Look So Young You're Kids Are Going To Have No Respect For Your" Speech. Apparently my school is in a not-so-good area.... there have been some shootings in the "Lanier High School" area lately. When I approached a fellow 1st year who knows about Jackson to get opinion, her words were something along the lines of "That's not out of the ordinary. When that stuff starts coming into the school itself, then you should be worried." At first, I was a little shocked. And scared. But the more I thought about it, I realized that there's no security anywhere. The kids at Columbine and Pearl River probably never felt scared or nervous going into their schools or the school's neighborhood (at least not because of the possibility of gunfire), but that didn't stop those events from occuring. And I've been in places like the Lanier area when I wasl in Birmingham several times, at night nonetheless, and not really been bothered. I think part of my anxiety was created by all these people who respond with the first of my previously mentioned responses. The latest was when I was actually in JPS getting a photo ID. The only white employee I'd seen the entire day asked me how old I was. When I told her, she replied, "You're going to get eaten alive." She then proceeded to inform me that Lanier was "99.9% black." But she whispered "black" as if it was a secret (one thing that's really been bothering me lately that I've noticed a lot from white people of all classes) and as if I had no idea what my school was like. She then progressed into how "all of JPS is black anyways," like there was no redeemable quality in any of the schools. My roomate, whose teaching at a middle school, was told by her that he's going to "the good school" because he may have "5 white kids." Perhaps the most amazing part of this encounter was that this was an employee in JPS. How can you work for the system that you think is inherently inferior? Why would you work there if you were prejudiced, choosing to surround yourself with black coworkers all day long? I just couldn't fathom it. I'm from the South and have seen blatant racism and prejudice firsthand, but I don't understand why someone that had those beliefs would willingly choose to be a part of the system they distrusted and condescended to. It made me mad that she was taking someone else's job who potentially wasn't jaded and had a lot of faith in the system. I assume her position is not unlike teachers I will meet in my school.

Video Review: Part Deux

2006-07-17T11:35:00.000-07:00

So now that I've watched myself again 3 weeks after I last taught, I'm somewhat disappointed. Well, to be fair, this was the very first lesson I taught of the week, and it was probably the least interesting of the 5 I taught that week, but still........ a little bit of a let down. I didn't realize how "lecture-like" I am. I think the biggest problem for me is assuming "Hey, because this stuff really interests me it will interest my kids too." This is way off because basically I'm a huge dork. I like reading literature. Almost all literature. Even literature that many people find boring. I remember a certain English MTC "vet" telling the rest of us English teachers not to teach something that the kids can't relate to. His specific examlpe was Robert Frost's "Stopping By the Woods on a Snowy Evening" because, according to him, "these kids have never seen snow before and they won't care." It was an excellent point, but I could't help chuckling to myself because I had taught that exact poem in Summer School thinking the kids would really appreciate the images and the message. And I think they did, but it took a large amount of effort on my point to "sell" them poem and to get them to appreciate it. All of this is a long way of saying I need to find more inductive ways of teaching. At least my sets should be more student-learning centered instead of me just telling them a concept and then giving funny examples and then pointing it out in a text that I think is "interesting." I think one of my strongest assets (as confirmed by this video) is that I honestly listen to what kids say, even if they're joking around or stay something off topic, and try to turn that into something valuable and worthwhile or, at the very least, important. By that, I mean I try to make them feel that they can say anything to me. If it's inappropriate or purposely off-topic I'll reprimand them, but at least they know I'm listening and in most cases genuinely want to hear what they think. But I've been falling into the trap of believing that this was "good enough" and in some places replaced my fun, engaging activities which I wasn't really doing. Also, after spending a week with teachers who had amazing sets for almost every lesson, I really began to feel guilty. Overall though, I feel like if I could liven up and use some techniques that get kids curious and inquisitive and excited at the beginning of the lesson, then the rest of my lesson (lecture/activity/notes/etc.) would be a lot more worthwhile for them.

Video Review

2006-07-09T14:56:00.000-07:00

So in watching my video, I wasn't that surprised, as seems to be the standard among the other teachers. Yes there were things that were noticed, such as my obnoxiously monotonous voice, my unquestionably off-colored belt and shoes, and the random kids pantomiming behind my back. But overall, I feel like my personal evaluation of myself sans video was pretty accurate. Good things: My methodical manner. I am very deliberate in lots of aspects of my presentation, including my voice, my walk, and my questioning. I feel like I gave the kids ample time to respond or to absorb. Bad things: Lack of accountability among all the students. And this is something I've been struggling with for a while, but the problem was magnified once I saw it on camera. I need to find a way to get all the kids involved in the lesson. I am definately going to have a class participation grade in the fall, something which my classroom did not incorporate this summer. But I still am responsible for planning lessons where kids can't get away with giving the obligatory "I don't know" answer to my questions when they obviously weren't paying attention in the first place. Also, I feel like all my lessons were the same format. I need some variety -- something which I'm currently working on as I finish up Day 1 of my 5-day STAI plans. Overall, this is a good strategy, but I think it wasn't as affective as it could have been because I was already painfully aware of my own shortcomings. Hopefully, next time I do this I will have addressed these and the problems I find will be more revealing.

There and Back Again

2006-06-28T16:06:00.001-07:00

So this past weekend I ventured down to Jackson to do some house searching with myself, my two soon-to-be roomates, three great Second Years, and our hostess's roomate. Everyone was great. Our two hostesses in Yazoo City were so hospitable... they took it upon themselves to show us around Jackson and house search with us. But I think more than the hospitality and the generosity, the comfortability and connection with this group of people really astounded me. I knew my future roomates pretty well (or as well as you can know someone in about 3 weeks) and had casually conversed with our 2nd year hostess and the other two 2nd years, but I had never even met our other "member." The connection with these people was instantaneous, which is amazing considering the different backgrounds and the number of people present. This is something that I've also found, for the most part, among other members of MTC. And I can't really figure out why I get along so well with these people. I think part of it is the fact that I'm no longer in the minority. TDuring the past four years of my undergraduate, I was, for the most part, the more liberal, progressive, or at least levelheaded of most of the groups I was associated with. I realize that may come off as arrogant, but that's whay I tried to throw in the "levelheaded" clause, because even when I was more conservative on a particular issue, I felt like I rarely become visibly upset or excited about my particular viewpoint, as was/is the case with the majority of people down there that believe strongly in something. And I think the most attractive quality of many of my colleagues is their ability to rationally and calmly state their perspective. That's what I experienced this weekend. Ideas, perceptions, tastes that I had but often times could never put into words evolved into extended, well-thought conversations, of course filled with various remarks that unceasingly cracked me up. That's another huge issue... The ability to laugh, discuss, criticize, remark, or make-fun -- now matter what the subject or tone-- was always interesting. I feel like I could have talked with these people nonstop. I think part of our idealism contributes to our complementary personalities -- even when we come from all parts of the South (and the oddball fromt he Northeast). I can't thank everyone enough for their help this weekend, but even more so, I owe everyone more gratitude for the experience and the community.

Groupies

2006-06-25T17:10:00.000-07:00

So I did some group work the other day in my class, and I
think the kids kind of realized that it was one of those
things that was thrown together at the last minute. I
hadn't remembered that I was supposed to incorporate it into
my lesson and so basically took an idea that was supposed to
be individual work and added a few students together. They
were a lot more excited about the fact that they could get
up and converse with one another than the assignment I gave
them. And although all of them did actually complete it, I
found the biggest problem was finding a way to keep everyone
accountable for his/her own work. I had everyone in groups
of four, and made sure there was an official recorder and an
official reader, but that left two other students more or
less free to not participate (which they fully took
advantage of). Even when I went over and tried to encourage
discussion or participation, a received a lot of blank
stares. I thought about doing some sort of group member
evaluation, but it seemed too complicated and there was no
assurance that the kids would grade honestly. I think from
now on I'm only going to be able to do group work if I can
make sure everyone knows they're responsible and held
accountable for their participation in the group.

In Between the Cracks

2006-06-14T19:24:00.000-07:00

So I'm posting about one of the questioning strategies that I used the other day in class. I tried the "Muddiest Part of the Lecture." I didn't exactly do it the way it's listed, because I kind of forgot that I was using a particular strategy, but I think the idea is still basically the same. I gave the kids two options for a "Do-Now" prompt that was on the board when they came in. I had gone over conjunctions (coordinating and subordinating) and clauses (independent and dependent) the day before. Admittedly, I did not teach well the previous lesson. I kind of threw a lot of information at them and then gave them examples, hoping that they would just "pick it up," not really considering how methodical I needed to be in my instruction. So for their "Do-Now" instructions, I told the kids they could either write down a question about yesterday's lesson that they were unclear about; or, if they thought they were clear about everything, then they could prove it by writing a complete sentence with a dependent clause first, collowed by an independent clause. I told them to make sure they use the correct punctuation. After explaining what I wanted to almost every individual, I collected their responses. A majority of the kids wrote something to the effect of "I understand everything we went over, but I can't think of how to write it in a sentence" or "I know how to do it, I just forgot how to use it in a sentence." I actually had to chuckle and give the kids credit for finidng a way to do neither of what I asked them. I basically offered them choice A ro B and several of them chose choice C. Now what is much more discouraging is that perhaps 6 of the 20 or so kids actually did what I asked them (wrote a question or correctly composed the sentence). The rest of the class did what I just told you about (Choice C), or tried to compose the sentence, believing they were doing it correctly, and completely screwed it up. Most of what I got were simply independent clauses with incorrect punctuation. The good thing, which I think is the entire purpose of this strategy, was that I got to see what we needed to spend more work on. I am somewhat torn between feeling disappointed and unsurprised. I know several of the second years will tell me that I should get used to this, and that things will probably get much worse, but I also don't want to lower my expectatiosn to the point where I'm not longer expecting the kids to learn. I think this was a good technique for pointing out by shortcomings as a teacher, but I still believe that the kids should have at least been able to identify an independent clause. Well, I guess I'll find out how much they really learned when the test comes around.

An Alternative Approach

2006-06-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

I read Jess Wysopal's paper on the Montessori School. I was initially interested for several reasons: 1) because I actually attended a Montessori school when I was younger 2) because I'm fascinated by alternative methods for learning and 3) because it's so vastly different from what they teach us in MTC.
Basically, Montessori schools tailor the entire classroom environment to its students. So, for an elementary Montessori school, the students have smaller chairs, smaller desks, and all kinds of learning resources in the form of books, puzzles, art supplies, etc. The idea is that by creating the perfect learning environment and leaving the adults out of the mix for the most part, the kids will want to learn on their own and will teach themselves how to read or write. They value and respect a student’s own desires and thus allow him or her to choose what, when, and for how long he or she learns. (Sorry if I’m not completely accurate in this synopsis.)
Although I was extremely young when I attended a Montessori school, I do remember that I was best friends with a kid that was 3 years older than I was (coincidentally, he turned out to be the older brother of one of my best friends in middle school). According to my parents, I used to follow him around all the time. I remember that everything he said was funny. I mention this only because of the focus on peer teaching that the Montessori schools stress, and because it is one of the few strategies that applies to what I have been taught so far in MTC. I guess it’s virtually impossible for me to say whether it was an innate curiosity, open-minded parents, the Montessori school, strong teachers, or some “X” factor that encouraged my desire for independent learning, but nevertheless, it’s present.
This strategy is particularly interesting in contrast with the rigid rules and schedules that MTC emphasizes. Both MTC and Montessori’s strategies target “at risk” kids, so I wonder how two vastly different philosophies developed with the same purpose. Although I completely trust what the administrators, professors, and experienced teachers in MTC say, the liberal in me wonders if a child were exposed to the Montessori technique his or her entire life, would the results be as successful as what MTC produces? Obviously, one of the major differences is that MTC teachers go into a school that is not set up to incorporate the Montessori strategies; however, something about the “prison” or “warzone” metaphor that I’ve heard teachers (and, ashamedly, myself) mention seems off. I realize that with some kids, you have to take that strategy. And at first, you should probably take it with all your kids. But the attraction to me comes in developing personal relationships, which you can’t do if you’re the “warden” or the “enemy commander.” I’m not trying to suggest that anyone here is inciting me to treat the kids this way, but with all the rules, procedures, and schedules (coupled with my mistrust of authority), it seems like it would take some of the spontaneity, creativity, or individual desire out of learning.
I know that when I go in the first day I’m going to do my best to appear the “hard-ass” that I’m most certainly not. But because I’m so afraid of losing respect, I fear I’ll have to approach things that way until the kids gain my trust (or I gain theirs, I’m not sure) and realize that one party is not going to take advantage of the other.
Montessori techniques seem more “natural” to me. It’s rather sad that because of the inherent desire to trust, help, and nurture which has constantly been abused, we as teachers have to remove the freedom and choice that accompanies learning, at least in our schools.

So good so far..

2006-06-04T12:05:00.000-07:00

I'll have to admit, I was not looking forward to this week. Yea, I wanted to meet my classmates and the administrators that we'd be dealing with for the next two years, but I did not want to go through all the introductory meetings about the history and the classes. I guess I tend to be a little "immediate gratification" oriented and I wanted to jump right in and make my own mistakes and learn from them... but I also realize that this isn't practical or prudent, and they do the things they do for a reason.
All that being said, I've been pleasantly surprised. First of all, my classmates are great. The cynicism and whining that I've come to expect from the typical college student doesn't exist among them. Granted, it's only been 4 days, but everyone is so eager and enthusiastic, so willing to learn and take in the instruction. Second, the 2nd years and refreshing. It's encouraging to see how excited they are to share their knowledge or (I'll stick with the battlefront analogy) just gain some reinforcments. Although I could tell some of them were exhausted, it seemed like our presence in some way enegrized them, and that in turn energizes me.
Overall, I guess the one thing that I overlooked coming in is the camaraderie that's inevitably going to develop. I've known these people for less than a week but I'm already telling stories and cracking jokes with them like we've been longterm friends. I think a lot of my success will depend on the relationships and bonds I forge during these two months.